Microsoft Nearing Completion of Death Star

Microsoft Nearing Completion of Death Star
By Avi Muchnick

Redmond, WA -- Microsoft announced that it will complete construction of its newest Death Star by mid October, in a press conference given Wednesday.

With all of humanity likely to crumple beneath the iron grip of Microsoft come October, widespread panic has ensued. More than 30 rebellion uprisings have taken place only to meet with failure at the hands of Microsoft's superior fleet.

"This is necessary for Earth's survival," said Bill Gates, chair and founder of Microsoft, speaking from his luxury box above the slave arena.

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